Often when you watch professional basketball players on television they will give a shout out to their mother; and I have said, where are the fathers? That is why I am giving a shout out to my oldest brother because of the influence he had in my life when I was young.
My dad was a pastor, he traveled to his churches and when he was home he was either praying or reading his bible. He would also conduct family bible study every Wednesday night. At that time I felt it was the worse thing in the world to be in bible class and besides it wasn't cool. What would my friends think of me not being outside playing until the lights came on because I was in bible class. They probably would laugh me to scorn. I was tired of being laughed at because I was different. I was different because we had to live by a different standard than others that went to school because we were preacher kids. Also, there were so many of us, we did not have lots, but what we had was clean. I wanted more. My dad was a disciplinarian. I craved as a youth attention from my dad, but I felt he never had time for me. Yet, one month before he died he came to visit me, as he said the Lord told him to come. I am glad that he did, because when he came I had become a born again Christian and I explained lots of things that were on my heart to my dad. As a matter of fact I hated my dad until we had that talk, then I understood. Today I appreciate those family bible studies and conducted them with my own children. As adults, they appreciate those now, too.
There were questions I had but had no man to ask. I will never forget the day that I was sitting on the back porch looking at the chickens, very sad. My oldest brother, Louis, came out and asked what was I doing, and what was I thinking? He really act concerned and I remembered telling him that I was thinking how I wanted to hurry and grow up so nobody would tell me what to do. I knew what to do at eight years old, so why won't older people leave me alone! My brother was brushing his hair and he took the time to explain to me, that the rest of my life I would have to obey someone body. I would have to obey stop signs, red lights, police, teachers, and when I grew up my husband. He got my attention, and I really heard him. Now I don't remember at that time if I did something about it, but I know ever since I have thought about this and as an adult found out that he told me the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
I also remember when I was about 15 years of age, I cried all the time, I was angry, mean, and was very much a agitator in every sense of the word. I belonged to everything I could in the church because I thought that would help, I taught little children, in the choir, secretary of Sunday School, and always a youth delegate. I talked to Louis about this as I did not like ME. He explained that I needed the divine. When I graduated from high school, went to Chicago, I was looking for "The Divine" and once I became born-again, as God has no grand children, just children, I have become a much happier person and I continue to grow in God.
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As a result of my attitude back then, later in life I have had problems with authority, I had to test the boundaries, to some degree, as there were some boundaries I did not even think about testing.
I also remember my oldest brother was a gentle, quiet young men, and when I had questions I would go to him and he would tell me the truth. I would ask him personal questions regarding men and things they used, and he explained that to me on my level. I will never forget the time I was sitting on the floor as a little girl and a piece of coal fell out the stove in my pants and I was screaming, he grabbed me and picked me up and the hot coal fell out my pants. There were others around, but somehow he knew what to do. Also, I remember one day my oldest sister hit him on the head with a thick plate and he did not retaliate, he just dabbed the blood from his head and I went to help him. I was so hurt. My mother was going to whip my sister, but he asked her not to. Now that impressed me so deeply. Later, I went and examined the plate and I became angry with my sister, with her bossy self, hitting my brother and that plate was thick. I couldn't tell her how I felt, but I pinned up that anger inside and it was later in my adult life that I forgave my sister.
My oldest brother performed my wedding ceremony to my first husband, Doug, in Chicago, Illinois in 1967, with my second oldest brother and my dad by his side. Oh yes, did I say that all of them were Pastors?
One of the saddest days of my life was the day I awaked in December, 1957 looking for my brother and my mother told me he had gone to Mississippi to get married. I was so hurt because he did not tell me. I wanted all day for him to return. When he did, they came and awaked me and I cried as I told him he should have told me. He introduced me to his wife Mary and I did not want to shake her hand, and she rolled her eyes at me. (Now she probably don't remember this but I do, and as I remember it I smile). At that point the fight was on, she could not treat me like this and marry my brother. I told Louis that she didn't like me, he said yes she does. As a matter of fact she is going to allow you to go with her to pick out her dress for the wedding reception. "Aren't you Mary?" She answered very slowly, yes. Somehow, I did not go, I think I was satisfied that my brother stood up for me to go, and the game was over.
I sent my children to Lane College after I had two in college at one time so he could sorta look out for them, as their father had passed away when they were 11 and 12 years of age. I just wanted them to know they would have their uncle near by. They were very please and happy when he visited the college and spoke in the chapel and he would give them money.
My brother was always there for me in any event that was important to me, and for that I am grateful for having Rev. Louis T. Purham as a brother. Yes, I have other brothers, but none have made the impression on my life is this gentle - man.
Recently when I was ill, I heard that he came, and that did my heart so much good, as I know that he is extremely busy. He is a hands on Pastor and they keep him running, and besides he works very hard doing construction work on his properties. He not only came, but everyone told me about a book he read to me while I was in a coma. The title of the book was Get Out the Boat. (see my blog on what I wrote regarding that subject).
Finally, I remembered while in a coma that I was planning my funeral, and even in my comatose state I remembered saying I want my oldest brother to preach my funeral. I also appreciate that when I retired in 2005, he was right there.
If my sibling want something from my brother, they will come to me, I don't know why, as he is so easy to talk to. I guess they feel that he would not deny me. Well, actually he never has, he has always been there for me.
I am very grateful that he married his wife, Mary, as she has been very kind and patient with me, and I know that she loves me too. She has been his rock and support when nothing else could comfort him as she does, and for that I am extremely grateful to her. She is a wife of noble character...Prov. 31:10 NIV).
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