I just read your thank you note and appreciate you taking the time to write it, you had thanked me by phone and that was good for me, yet you went another step. Thank you. We are different, but different is good and we can learn from each other. You are always leading in your grand leadership style.
Last night I read over your rebuke to me regarding how I felt about President Donald Trump that caused you great concern. You said you heard no one express hate toward the man, as I did toward the President. I used the word HATE because that is the strongest language I know to use. I stand by MY feelings, as they are my own. What you all said at a Sister to Sister’s meeting was deeply troubling. That was why I removed my physical body from the room you all were chatting about at that time, into another room where only one other person was sitting. We looked at each other and shook our heads. Shortly afterward, I left. No one bothered to ask me why I left and no one asked me why I did not return. I hold no bitterness as I grieved the loss of that fellowship and wish all the sisters’ well that was in the discussion. Now not all were present, but the ones that were there said plenty. I accept their opinion as their own, I just disagreed with how they expressed themselves about the CEO of America in a fellowship meeting. (It would have been okay sitting around kitchen table, but with other different points of views there, it was rude – at best, especially at that occasion).
As for me, I go to my Heavenly Father and tell him how I feel, like I do any other sin that I commit, I ask him to remove this defect of character in me and until He does, I generally will start off a public conversation when I am asked to speak on something he has done or said, I let them know I may not be the best person to ask because I come from the primacy that I HATE his behavior as he is so un-presidential. Then I will ask them, do they want me to continue. (I speak often in public and that subject comes up in diverse settings, I speak MY mind). They all want to know what’s on my mind. While charity requires only two things from me, be patient and be kind. I strive for both. This brought to mind when my youngest daughter, Carletta attended Renaissance High School, she didn’t like it there and begged me to remove her from 9th grade. She was traumatized and cried everyday not to return to that school. She shared her experience with me and at that point I HATED that school, what is was doing to my child and to our household? I was head of household, as her dad had just died, and now I had to step up to the plate to provide and protect her. Didn’t know what I was doing, but I did my best. I went to school, after much prayer, to disenroll her and as I was signing papers the Principal came out to challenge me asking me, why are you taking her out, so many parents are waiting to get their children in? Mom you are making a big mistake, why are you doing this? The only answer I could muster up is, because I HATE this school and I am taking her out. She continued to talk, HATE is a strong word, and you should never use that word. I looked at her eye ball to eye ball and told her Ms. Principal, I HATE Renaissance High School and my child is leaving. At that point, she said okay. It would have been good if she had sat down and had a conversation with me before she decided to lecture me. She knew NOTHING about my family nor the dynamics of my family. I do NOT regret expressing myself to her, as that was the strongest thing I could think of, and I do not regret removing Carletta. (I don’t hate the school today).
All I know right here, right now is we are all broken, but in different places and Jesus is not only my Savior He is my Lord, yes, He is the boss of me. I talk to Him and tell him where I am – I have a relationship with Him. I tell him the truth about me and the world I live in then I can accept the truth He speaks to me and He said this to me when I expressed myself to him about our current President: “I am sovereign over even those who are seemingly invincible. Ernestine you can be confident that MY power and justice will one day conquer ALL evil. Ultimately justice will be served in the world. I, God, will settle all accounts. Disobedience, rebellion and injustice will not prevail but will be punished severely by my righteousness for I am a HOLY God, who rules over all the earth. I rest in the comfort of knowing THIS, and only THIS! (Things President Trump does and says affects the LIVES of helpless/seemingly hopeless folks that don’t have strength to rise above nor strength to pray).
My Heavenly Father is not moved by my expression of hate, He knows me, He understands me, and He is the only one that can transform me. He knows I will do as Mary the Mother of Jesus told the disciples, whatever He says, DO IT!!! I know HIM for MYSELF, and not for another. Your journey is yours, mine is mine, both of us are leaders, just different leadership styles and different ways of expression, can we just have mutual respect for each other and strive to see another perspective without calling it GIBBERISH?! Glad we could talk, and I left the conversation that the devil didn’t get the victory as wherever there is confusion the enemy of our souls has a hand in it, as for me, I refuse to be a tool for the devil to use.
Thanking God for you and your testimony and the faith you have in God, only wish one day I can attain to your status. May God continual blessing be upon you as you press forward to the high calling in Christ Jesus, for at the end of the day pleasing and being loyal to Him is all that matters, isn’t it?
It’s okay to confront, without being confrontational. God calls us to peace, I rest in His peace!!!
I Remain, Your Friend,
Ernie
P. S. Have always admired you, I still do! GREATER IS COMING!!!
