SEXUAL HARASSMENT/ASSAULT

I am dumbfounded that intelligent people are surprised that sexual harassment and assault is a THING…NOW!  That has always been an issue with rich/powerful men.  It was a power play and nobody would believe the woman, therefore they kept it bottled up inside.
As far back at the late 50’s I was sexually assaulted and I was very young. When I tried to tell someone I was told if I didn’t keep that and take it to the grave with me I would break up that man’s family and you don’t want to break up someone’s family do  you?  (Putting the blame on me and not the perpetrator)! I kept it until I couldn’t keep it any longer and I told. I also had a game plan, at age 11, told the wife if her husband came in a certain way, I could tell how he closed the door, I would go out the back door. If she saw her dishes unwashed, it was because of her husband’s action. He eventually stopped, not before he scolded me, and I said, yes sir, and in my heart, “keep your hands to yourself”.
Later when I was older and no longer afraid of the mighty powerful men, while working in Government, I asked this man to come to the supply room after one of his attempts, he did, I blocked the door to keep anyone else from coming in, and asked him point blank: What is it I am doing that makes you THINK I am interesting in what you have in mind?  Whatever it is, please tell me so I can change, and I am obviously sending out the wrong message. I further told him, I was not interested, I would not tell anyone else of his behavior, but if he ever approached me again, on the spot I would scream – RAPE! (Which is another power play – rape has nothing to do with sex, but POWER). He never approached me again and we interacted professional after that.
He was on his death bed and sent for me, he didn’t know how to apologize, that was the best he could do. I accepted that, took someone else with me and prayed with him and asked had he made his peace with God. He said he had. GOOD!
I just heard today with all the sexual harassment/assaults the women must be playing a part. HUH?!? HOW?!? A woman should be able to walk down the street naked because a man should demonstrate self-control, and in charge of his OWN behavior.  Saying SORRY does not make it better, only CHANGE does.

THANKSGIVINGS

I no longer cook large meals for Thanksgivings, or any other time, but this year since I wasn’t traveling, thought I would prepare and take to my daughter’s house, but they were under the weather. All this food in my house, so I prayed and the Lord told me to go ahead cook anyway. (I did give away the turkey). I pulled out my Mom’s old serving platters off the shelf, cooked the night before with great JOY, and sensed the presence of my Mom. Remembering, how she would put extra in the pot in case a stranger stopped by.
I did not invite anyone, but asked the Lord to send whosoever He wanted here and I set the table for four. I got a call where someone asked could they come over, I said yes. Received a text another person asked could they come. The last one didn’t have a ride to get here, and that setting was still on the table when he showed up yesterday and ate like a king.
Thanksgiving Day we had an amazing time sharing why we are grateful. One lady from India shared prayer in her native language and of course I added in Jesus name. She interpreted the prayer and in Jesus name was appropriate. We played a game where we could share our authentic thoughts.  Afterwards, they called saying it was the best Thanksgiving ever and Anju called India, California, Illinois and other places to share her first Thanksgivings ever in America.
I went to sleep that night just being thankful for the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father and realize that gratitude is the antidote for any negative emotion.  2017 was the BEST THANKSGIVING – EVER!!!

GRIEF IS NO JOKE – IT’S ALSO A PART OF LIVING

Upon returning home Sunday night from school reunion, made it a point to go immediate to the hospital to see DuBois.  Upon arrival his sons were in the room all solemn and sad and at that point I knew if I had anything to say, I had to say it now.  After greeting them, looking at DuBois lying there what appeared to be a vegetative state, I asked them was their next step. The oldest one there said he had one in mind but didn’t want to say and the other one said if I had a ranch house he could come live with me. I asked for permission to express my thoughts and they welcomed them.
I said, for sure no matter what, he can’t return to his apartment and it’s not a good idea for him to live with you all, as he does not want to live with his children.  He has money, get him the best of care his money can afford so you all can go on with your lives.  The most loving thing you can do for your dad is to get someone that is skilled to care for him.  They agreed. The oldest one asked to see me outside the room, and expressed his gut level feelings and I was totally in agreement.
I asked them if I could speak to their Dad privately, and they said yes, and I spoke into DuBois ear, and said what I wanted him to know, and he started to move around, nurse came in to do some adjustments, I asked her if I was in the way and she said no way, I am glad that he is responding with any movement. I prayed for him and left.
I drove home, felt great about my visit, pulled up to the garage, and Holy Spirit said, “He’s dying.” “Dying?!”  “God can you raise him back up just one more time?” I came into house, went to my prayer closet as my heart was hurting, and made my request known to the only true and living God. God lifted that heavy burden. Next time I visited DuBois, he was talking and moving around, and I was shocked and stood in the door looking – SHOCKED! Carol, his daughter in law was there, and I got in his face and asked him if he knew me, he said no, I don’t know you, I said, do you know Ernestine, he said, yes I know Ernestine, would you pray for me in his weak frail voice. “Of course, DuBois I will pray for you, that’s what I do.” Afterward, I read his get well cards, and it was awkward, because I knew he was dying. Yet, I read.
Following Monday while getting up very early got news he had passed away. I was called before key members of family were notified and they asked me to stand by to help them walk with them thru this shadow of death, I promised I would. A week later we funeralized him and he was buried in National Cemetery in Holly, Michigan.  Family insisted that I have a part in the program of the funeral and the burial. I am still amazed at the faithfulness of God as I read the cards and said a poem that God dropped in my heart, This too shall pass…tears in eyes of the guests, and folks meeting me in the hallway asking for my cards and would I come to speak at Dr. Martin Luther King day.  WOW!
I am grateful for my church family that came alone with me to drive me, and keep me focused for the task at hand. I am grateful for the Ross family for their love and kindness to me during this time and afterward.  Many have been in touch with me and some of the younger airmen have called, wanting to make sure I am alright and asking me out to lunch.  All I can say is I am grateful.
I am so happy those time I felt overwhelmed with DuBois, how God always reminded me, don’t be weary in well doing, for you will reap if you faint not.  I am reaping the benefits of my labor.     

2017 FRAZIER HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

I was honored to have my son attend my 55th school reunion with me.  He was the best dressed man in the entire building. I felt like a million dollars to have my son there, taking a photo with him.  Also, other classmates wanted to take a photo with him as well. They all say he is a mighty fine young man.
I loved the hotel I stayed in as well, it was being remodeled but I can only imagine what a great place it will become.  I plan on checking back with them sometime in January and maybe return to visit.
The reunion was held in Baltimore and I met some new people while there. I am also happy that I took the advice of my son and just go and interact with other folks, as they didn’t seem to be very friendly, but Timothy said, but you just be yourself and they be themselves.  I did exactly that, went up and asked folks for their names, as I recognized only a hand full, and as we interacted we knew each other or at least someone in our families.  It was the best reunion I have ever attended.  It will be here next year.  I only hope I can attend.
I met a lady in the breakfast area of the hotel, we talked, laughed and agreed to meet the next day. I always bring up Jesus Christ and I noticed her piggy back on what I was saying but she never said anything about the Lord Jesus.  Yet, I enjoyed the exchange. We connected to each other as we shared about our children.  Next day she did return as planned, sent her husband down first, and then came with a friend.  I noticed how they were checking me out, which was okay with me because if I have nothing to hide, I hide nothing.
I talked to the folks she brought down, we enjoyed each other and as we were leaving, her guests left first as she continued to talk to me, and it was something how she covered her head that I asked if she was cold, or why was her head covered?  She said, I am covered because I am Muslim but I didn’t want you to know until I had connected with you. At that point I said, thank you for sharing and I enjoyed our conversation and I am so happy to meet you.  I learned so much from that encounter that I will put in practice for the future.
My reunion was held the end of September and riding on the bus back home, we had so much fun.  I received a phone call that my friend, DuBois, was in the hospital and I responded I was on my way back home and would be in touch. 
We arrived back home and I was able to drive home in the dark.  I was so grateful for that!!! 

CELEBRATION MY 73rd & TIMOTHY’S 41st BIRTHDAY

One of my favorite times of year is to spend time with my son, Timothy, whom I love dearly. I often tell folks there is something special about a BOY and his Mom!  Tim bring delight to my face whether it’s in person or on the telephone.  He is a Mighty Man of Valor!!!
August 19th at 6:00 a.m. we caught the Amtrak Train from Dearborn - Business Class, to downtown Chicago. It was a pleasure to just sit next to Timothy and listen to him breathe.    We slept and shared treats, talked and read the newspaper. Limited use of phones.
After four hours we arrived in Chicago - I was with Timothy so how we got around and what we did from there was a walk of faith.  However, we did get a taxi from Grand Central Station to Hyde Park where President Obama grew up and a restaurant with down home cooking was served.  Besides enjoying the food, it was where Deborah Diane lives.  I knew she had some deadlines to meet because the News were off the hook, and folks were pulling for her time to write stories about many of the events.  However, she did break away to come and meet us.
The expression on Tim and Debbie’s face to greet each other was a sight for sore eyes.  It’s nothing like a mother seeing her children love each other.  I finally met Lynn a friend of Debbie that I had heard so much about as she worked in the barber shop where President Obama got his hair cut and she insisted that I come in and see the roped off chair with his photo over it.  I was glad to meet and pray for Lynn and she was happy to meet me too.  That was awesome!
Debbie called UBER for ride downtown - I enjoyed talking to driver and Timothy taught me something interesting that I put into practice.  First of all I am NOT a big tipper. Tim suggested that since I am sharing Jesus let the tip reflect that.  That was interesting, so I did give drive a big tip.  I will remember that for future when tipping.  (If I talk about Jesus, reflect Jesus in my tip).  GOT IT!!!
We went shopping and ate early dinner at Water Tower where we could order any kind of food we desired including International.  Afterward, we made our way back to Central Station for our ride back home. Tim did not want public transportation, so I, yes, ME thumbed down a cab (just like when my Dad thumbed a ride to the field, precious memories – NOT)!!!  While there my youngest brother, Jerome, came down to see us.  He looked quite well and we were happy to see him.  Jerome thought it was a big deal that we came to Chicago on Train for one day and going back same day – he thought that was a RICH folk move.
What I enjoyed about the trip most of all was the company and I absolutely had an enjoyable time, as I was all there.  I will have NO regrets when I look back.  Yes Indeed, I created another memory.  This was one of the best events of my life for 2017 and I thank my Heavenly Father for He provided it all.  Thanks Timothy for sharing this auspicious occasion with me.  

Open Letter to Friend

Wow! The art of letter writing has changed significantly, as they are doing new things in this process.  Oh me, oh my!  I am writing you as I thought it would be a good way to communicate even if it’s old fashioned.  It’s been a long time, nevertheless, here I am!
I just read your thank you note and appreciate you taking the time to write it, you had thanked me by phone and that was good for me, yet you went another step. Thank you.  We are different, but different is good and we can learn from each other.  You are always leading in your grand leadership style.
Last night I read over your rebuke to me regarding how I felt about President Donald Trump that caused you great concern.  You said you heard no one express hate toward the man, as I did toward the President.  I used the word HATE because that is the strongest language I know to use. I stand by MY feelings, as they are my own.  What you all said at a Sister to Sister’s meeting was deeply troubling.  That was why I removed my physical body from the room you all were chatting about at that time, into another room where only one other person was sitting.  We looked at each other and shook our heads.  Shortly afterward, I left. No one bothered to ask me why I left and no one asked me why I did not return.  I hold no bitterness as I grieved the loss of that fellowship and wish all the sisters’ well that was in the discussion.  Now not all were present, but the ones that were there said plenty.  I accept their opinion as their own, I just disagreed with how they expressed themselves about the CEO of America in a fellowship meeting. (It would have been okay sitting around kitchen table, but with other different points of views there, it was rude – at best, especially at that occasion).
As for me, I go to my Heavenly Father and tell him how I feel, like I do any other sin that I commit, I ask him to remove this defect of character in me and until He does, I generally will start off a public conversation when I am asked to speak on something he has done or said, I let them know I may not be the best person to ask because I come from the primacy that I HATE his behavior as he is so un-presidential.  Then I will ask them, do they want me to continue. (I speak often in public and that subject comes up in diverse settings, I speak MY mind).  They all want to know what’s on my mind.  While charity requires only two things from me, be patient and be kind.  I strive for both.  This brought to mind when my youngest daughter, Carletta attended Renaissance High School, she didn’t like it there and begged me to remove her from 9th grade. She was traumatized and cried everyday not to return to that school.  She shared her experience with me and at that point I HATED that school, what is was doing to my child and to our household? I was head of household, as her dad had just died, and now I had to step up to the plate to provide and protect her. Didn’t know what I was doing, but I did my best.  I went to school, after much prayer, to disenroll her and as I was signing papers the Principal came out to challenge me asking me, why are you taking her out, so many parents are waiting to get their children in? Mom you are making a big mistake, why are you doing this? The only answer I could muster up is, because I HATE this school and I am taking her out.  She continued to talk, HATE is a strong word, and you should never use that word. I looked at her eye ball to eye ball and told her Ms. Principal, I HATE Renaissance High School and my child is leaving.  At that point, she said okay. It would have been good if she had sat down and had a conversation with me before she decided to lecture me. She knew NOTHING about my family nor the dynamics of my family.  I do NOT regret expressing myself to her, as that was the strongest thing I could think of, and I do not regret removing Carletta.  (I don’t hate the school today).
All I know right here, right now is we are all broken, but in different places and Jesus is not only my Savior He is my Lord, yes, He is the boss of me. I talk to Him and tell him where I am – I have a relationship with Him. I tell him the truth about me and the world I live in then I can accept the truth He speaks to me and He said this to me when I expressed myself to him about our current President:  “I am sovereign over even those who are seemingly invincible. Ernestine you can be confident that MY power and justice will one day conquer ALL evil.  Ultimately justice will be served in the world. I, God, will settle all accounts. Disobedience, rebellion and injustice will not prevail but will be punished severely by my righteousness for I am a HOLY God, who rules over all the earth.  I rest in the comfort of knowing THIS, and only THIS! (Things President Trump does and says affects the LIVES of helpless/seemingly hopeless folks that don’t have strength to rise above nor strength to pray).
My Heavenly Father is not moved by my expression of hate, He knows me, He understands me, and He is the only one that can transform me. He knows I will do as Mary the Mother of Jesus told the disciples, whatever He says, DO IT!!!  I know HIM for MYSELF, and not for another.  Your journey is yours, mine is mine, both of us are leaders, just different leadership styles and different ways of expression, can we just have mutual respect for each other and strive to see another perspective without calling it GIBBERISH?!  Glad we could talk, and I left the conversation that the devil didn’t get the victory as wherever there is confusion the enemy of our souls has a hand in it, as for me, I refuse to be a tool for the devil to use.
Thanking God for you and your testimony and the faith you have in God, only wish one day I can attain to your status.  May God continual blessing be upon you as you press forward to the high calling in Christ Jesus, for at the end of the day pleasing and being loyal to Him is all that matters, isn’t it?
It’s okay to confront, without being confrontational.  God calls us to peace, I rest in His peace!!!
I Remain, Your Friend,
Ernie

P. S. Have always admired you, I still do!  GREATER IS COMING!!!
 

FROM FEAR TO FULL ASSURANCE

Life is so full of adventures and no two days are the same.  I am so grateful for today because yesterday for some unknown reason I was just out of sync.  When I went to bed last night I was asking myself, is this the way people feel when they don’t wake up the next day?  I even texted my middle daughter last night after sending notice to her, “Sorry, can’t talk right now.” “You alright??” (I never turn down a call from my children). “I will be. “  “Praying for you but I can listen if you need to talk.” “Thanks I am just out of it – no pain just want to stay in bed – did make myself go for a walk and got garbage out – out of sync…I’ll be alright if not on this side the other – seriously, I wonder if this is way folks feel when they don’t wake up – so call my landline sometime tomorrow if no answer I will be dancing on sea of glass. GN!” “Sista you are going to be dancing on Rodeo tomorrow but I will call. Rest easy. Your text made me laugh Ma even though I know you are serious.”
I woke up, feeling so much better, but before I got up I heard the Lord say to me, “Call Karen and have a conversation with her about the upcoming event you both share.” I was wondering, why she can’t call and talk to me, she is the hostess? At that point it came to me, “the meekest one will yield.”  At that point, I want to be the meekest, so I said, Lord you open the door and I will walk in.  While taking my bath got text and what the text said opened the door widely.  First, I was angry, disturbed, anxious, etc. then I prayed, invited God into the situation, called Karen three or four times to communicate with her. (After I humbled myself).  She just now text me that she is available, but I will call her early tomorrow as it’s my bedtime and besides I need to finish this blog.
Throughout this day, I had an amazing day. I met with Carletta and Josh and we went for walk and to a City event close to my house and it was great being out with them.  Carletta actually did listen to my heart and some things she may not want to hear, but I could hear her point of view on that as well.  Mutual respect!  We plan on doing this weekly during Summer.
I do fear the future, as I see so much going on with older adults, many are in isolation and many are alone, now we want our independence, but we want socialization – just for us sake.  I am grateful the Lord allowed me to face another day, to trust Him more and rely on Him and I await the time I can have that full assurance that His Eye Is on the Sparrow and I KNOW He Watches Me!  It’s coming…

TODAY MY LIFE CHANGED – FOREVER

Ten years ago, today my life changed – FOREVER!  While living with this forever change I am extremely grateful to my Heavenly Father for how He continues to take care of me.  He always provide my every need.  He is my way maker, He is my Deliverer, my Comforter, my Friend and my soon coming King!
I have been a widow since 1988, I live alone and in the middle of the night I was rushed to Beaumont Hospital by ambulance and received the diagnosis of gangrene of the intestines.  I went into hospital with 40 feet of intestines, I now have 5 feet, and you must have 4 feet to live. (All the information I share here was told to me).  I had five surgeries in one week’s time, and while in hospital my body contracted five major diseases where only one person out of 10 million survive, just one of those diseases, I was that one person.  I was in hospital 3 months, in a coma two months. (Who am I that God is so mindful of me)?
The doctors called my family in to inform them that they had done everything they learned in medical school and nothing had worked, so they now had to take me off life support.  They further tried to comfort them by saying, don’t worry, she will be gone in 25 minutes.  My youngest daughter said to the doctors, we appreciate all you have done for our Mom, you did your bests, but our Mom will not die, but live.  The doctors laid down their writing instruments, look at other doctors, scratched their heads, and said okay.
They proceeded to take me off life support and as  they unplugged different equipment, I started moving, trying to talk, and the team of doctors were shocked, asking what’s going on, this is not supposed to be, and they looked noticed I was breathing on my own.  In sympathy they said to my children, if she continue to live, she will be a vegetable.
I couldn’t wrap my heard around that, me being alive and a vegetable.  That would not be an abundant life for me, so maybe the doctors meant I was supposed to GROW vegetables.  Never had a garden in my life, I rented a plot of land to grow vegetables and ate vegetables from my own garden.  While in the garden a man told me about Biblical Christian Counseling.
I enrolled, and received my certification for Biblical Counseling July 20, 2014, and now so happy to participate in God’s transformation power in other men, women, boys and girls lives. I am honored.  I am no vegetable, I have held many positions since this time, including being on church Board, preaching word of God, in plays, senior citizen news reporter at Cable 15, Celebrity Reader for children in Southfield, and assisted at Northville Christian School as well.
I am grateful for all the folks that showed up to support my children during this serious/anxious time for them.  Many Pastors told me they were there, and how their prayers were the ones that brought me through, etc. I have visited different churches where Pastors wanted me to share my testimony and they added it was their prayer that brought me through. (Please, can God get the glory He is due)? However, there was one young minister at that time, I was told, came and sat with my children, did not try to give them any false hope, he just sat there with them and his presence made all the difference in the world to all my children. He is so vivid in their hearts and minds and they speak of him often.  His name is Glen (Tyrone) Love, who is a Pastor at this time.  Thank you Pastor Glen for being there with and for my children and show them the LOVE your name signify.
Today, I celebrate ten years ago this day, by being in a reflective mode, in the house and just enjoying a non-busy day listening to Don Moen singing.  I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father’s steadfast love, and the fact that I just want to be where my Heavenly Father is, wherever He is moving, that is exactly where I want to be.  

DISRESPECT OF SENIOR CITIZENS

One of the most challenging times of my life have been while being a Senior Citizen in the 21st century.  I have never encountered so much disrespect from the youth of this day.  I wonder, what happened?  We were raised to respect our seniors.  We did not cuss or say swearing words around senior adults, nor were we disrespectful.  We allowed them to go first, and if we could assist them, we would, and we did it cheerful.
Not so TODAY.  While driving, and I strive to only drive during non-rushed hours i.e. after 9:00 a.m. and home before 4:00 p.m.  Even then the younger generation drive right up on our bumpers, as if they are going to force us to go faster.  Even when there is another lane they can pass us or they will blow their horns aggressively.  Some will yell out the window, drive it or park it!  Now who died and made them god?  As for me, I stay in my lane and drive speed limit, and refuse to get into road rage, as I pray before hitting the streets and pack lots of patience.
Then there are times I will call someone and after being on call for a brief time, they will say, I’m going to let you go now, and I am the one that made the call.  Where are the etiquettes since I made the call, I am the one that terminate the call.  Are they not teaching etiquettes any more in schools/homes, etc.?  Woe is me!
Sometimes I will walk into a small store, very few customers, and the person operating cash register will be on the phone.  They will attempt to check me out while remaining on the phone, at that point, I will say, oh no, please don’t, I’ll just want until you finish with your personal call.  Then they will get off phone, laughing.  I remind them, I chose to spend my money at this place, and at least I deserve their full attention.  (I teach them as I go).
Then there are telemarketers that call and insist on you spending your money, and when I ask questions, they will say, I know nothing about that, and continue with their spill.  They will hang up on you if you insist on answers.  I won’t even mention the SCAMS senior citizens receives.
Somebody said a Nation is known by the way they treat their senior citizens, well, this Nation is in trouble or turn things around, one  person at a time.  I am committed to teaching one, reach one, and please help!!!

WAITING

Who likes to wait?!  Not me!  All our lives we find ourselves waiting.  Waiting to grow up, waiting to meet the right person, waiting to change, while we wait we put our lives on hold and not enjoy today.  We live in the future and we can’t wait for the future because once we get there it’s not what we expect.  I’ve made up my mind to enjoy one day at a time by living in a day tight compartment, enjoying and living just for TODAY!  Facing the day, no matter what with faith and not fear.  I will not borrow from yesterday’s failures, I learned from the mistakes of yesterday and will not bring into this day the regrets of yesterday.

I was asked to speak at my friend’s Mom’s funeral today, I tried to get out of even going to the funeral.  I do all I can to help folks live so go to as few funerals as possible.  She insisted that I participate although I tried to get out of it by telling her that my speech is not as clear as it used to be.  I finally accepted, reassuring myself I would use what I have.  I refused to count the hours when I would have to get up and speak, I waited my time.  The place was new and different, and I used that time to observe as I waited.  I never became anxious. (Anxiety is such an enemy).

I moved forward, being the first woman on program, and did what I came to do.  I was strengthen to comfort others while I was being comforted.  Afterward, the crowd asked my friend, who is she? How do you know her? “You can tell she is so polished and so encouraging.”  Now to that, to God be the glory.  Meanwhile, when the preacher got up to speak he talked about WAITING.  Going to the doctor and they have you sitting in the waiting room hours to only see the doctor for minutes.

That is so true, we could have heart attacks being anxious about our WAITING.  There is something about character building in waiting.  We can make so many major mistakes because we choose not to wait.  We want what we want and we want it now.  As for me, I choose to wait and be of good courage while I wait and be hopeful as I wait. 

Finally, God acts on behalf of those who waits for Him. 

FORGIVENESS

Out and about today my mind wanders about many things. I even now realize why I used to love to read love stories and watch western movies. Know why? Because they always ended up living happy ever after.

Conversely, real life is not that simple, not at all.  Many of us wonder when will our breakthrough come, we need a change and desire a change and sometimes feels It’s GOT to change!

Speaking with a young woman about some challenging experience I had but now I can look back and see that it worked together for my good.  What could have been a bitter pill, even years after, no longer had that negative influence and I could speak about it with peace and no regret.

She stated that she could see nothing of peace about the matter as she did not like the person involved because he never asked her for forgiveness, therefore, she had nothing good to say about it.  I got quiet, and she wanted to know if I could receive her truth. I could, but I was puzzled about the fact that she was holding to something that I had long let go of, and so had the other person, as a matter of fact they were deceased, and she was still carrying this baggage.  Why do we choose to hold to ashes? Let’s trade our ashes for the oil of gladness.  By forgiving others we release ourselves from that other person.  Until we do, we carry that other person with us. Forgiveness is for us, it frees us, not the other person.  They don’t deserve your forgiveness?  Do you deserve the peace that forgiveness brings?  THINK ABOUT IT!

One Last Thing:  GUARD YOUR HEART – PROTECT YOUR HEART – WHAT GOES IN, WILL COME OUT IN SOME FORM. 

ADDRESS THE MESS

All of us have found ourselves in a mess one or two (maybe three) times in our lives. How we handled it shows lots about OUR character or lack of…). Whatever the case may be we have options and the option we choose will be how we tell the story in the future. (Depending who you are will depend on where and how you tell the story). The conclusion of the matter is the way we go down in history. We are creating a legacy. Conversely, that is why I want to make better choices of the future messes I find myself in.
My mind went back this morning to the time I was so bored/uncomfortable/miserable almost to the point of depression at my work place. Talking to my managers fell on deaf ears. I decided to take my matter to the TOP, yes, to the Commissioner (after we had established a rapport) and in less than 30 days I was transferred to another office. Since nobody knew how I arrived at this office, and everybody wanted to know how and why the Commissioner would be involved in my transfer, and I wasn’t telling. The office I was transferred to did not want me there as I was the only Black with the position I filled. He said he had enough diversity in his office (one Native American Indian, one Hispanic, two Blacks and one Chinese) and he was not happy having another Black in his office. One of his supervisors were Black, she took me out to lunch and told me the story that he was out to get me, to write me up even if I sneezed, etc. and she reminded me, “you are NOT welcomed here!” I thanked her and I knew this was the Lord and I and I would have to draw from my Miss Weaver experience (another story) and I knew the same God that brought me thru that would be here for me in this situation. I made up my mind the boss of the office was the BOSS – hands down! He was such a rude, disrespectful man, but he was the BOSS!
He did many things to me to push my buttons, as well as the other employees, (that’s okay, I’m good)! One day I went on break and the room was filled with all Caucasians, I guess he wanted to show off.  As I walked in room, he yelled at me, “Get back on that desk, you can’t have a break, get on back up front – NOW! (Remember, he is BOSS), therefore, I smiled and said, oh okay, went back up front to call my next claimant.  He came up front, apologizing to me and said, “Everyone in the break room said I was wrong, you have not had a break, so go on break.” “No, that’s okay, I don’t need a break, I LOVE my job.” Other things he tried but I didn’t participate in his childish tactics and one day he talked to me and told me he was going to move to California, and he had been so evil and mean to me and would I forgive him. Later I was made the employee of the month with flowers and special parking place; and a few years later promoted to a position I never wanted but the money was good and that position I loved most of all my government service.
Recently, I went to a young woman in leadership, shared with her lots of her skills sets and added one she thought she was doing well, but not measuring up to the position by her behavior/attitude or her leadership style. I love this young wonderful woman, and just wanted to share some observations with her, after I did, I asked her if she wanted to share anything with me, she said two things which I helped her recall what went on in those situations, and encouraged her to feel free to speak truth to me at that time as I was doing with her – In love. I talked to her as she was my daughter. I left feeling we had a good chat. Until half way home I received a text something to the fact she was erasing me from everything she had my name on, etc. My final comment was, “You have the last word – I will walk in love.” Months and days later many references from folks came back to me that she made, some were true and most untrue. Each time someone told me what she had said about the incident (She never used my name, but folks knew it was me. She even went to a funeral speaking of our talk). At that point I saw this was getting MESSY and you can’t clean up a mess by making a bigger mess. What’s a person supposed to do? It came to me today: Address the Mess and rise to virtue (behavior showing high moral standards) and do something no one else would do. Speak kindly of her, refer her to speak at events using her amazing skill set and sent her a generous gift at Christmas time.
I want to always choose to hold up to virtue and those digs on Face book, I don’t have to respond nor react but think good things about the person. I have much peace, after all peace is what we want and not make a MESS – Messier!  

UNFORGETTABLE – YEAH, THAT SUMS IT UP!!!

Once in a life time someone crosses your path and you know it’s a divine connection because no other way would I encounter such a phenomenal human being. (Many folks are flaky, unpredictable, transactional, etc.) Conversely, every now and then you meet someone that is genuine, honest, and full of integrity and character - the only word that can describe him is – UNFORGETTABLE.

Let me tell you about this unforgettable man: I first saw him when I arrived at my Senior exercise class here in Southfield. He looked like a movie star. He invited our senior’s class to participate in a project at Southfield Public School for a particular day and event. Of course I would volunteer as I thought it was a novel idea to have Senior Citizens to interact with young folks. There is such an exchange to be made.

On the day of the event this UNFORGETTABLE man was there, directing and interacting with others. We had a grand ole time as some of us seniors shared our lives on camera living here in Southfield. I forgot the cameras and told MY story. Later I talked to this same man on the phone when he invited me to his office about Senior Reporter – Who? Me? Senior Reporter?! (This is what my oldest daughter does). This would make her laugh out loud; as for me I will try (almost) anything once.

The first day working with this man, he showed me around Cable 15, how shows go on the air, and what he had in mind for me as Senior Reporter. He was so kind and patient with me, as learning new things does not come easy in this season of my life, but he made it fun. I enjoyed working most with him because he treated me as an equal, my opinion mattered as he would often ask me what I thought about a particular project which he is the expert. He is a real leader because what he taught me about his business I wanted to know more and more and never did I feel less than or unimportant. (I think he has a Collaborative Leadership style).

He is also a humanitarian in that one day I was supposed to meet at his office but had some testing at the hospital as they had called me to return as something didn’t look right. Went for my testing and after all was finalized I received a clean report. I was so happy about this good news I wanted to call and tell this UNFORGETTABLE man, but instead, he texted me saying he was concerned and if I wanted to talk, he wanted to listen. (How awesome is that)? In these days, people caring about people?! People they just met?! WOW!

Since that day I have had many days of just sharing what’s on my heart, i.e. religion, politics, race, etc. and he can do the same, and whether we agree or not, we respect each other’s opinion. Why am I doing a BLOG on him?! I’ll tell you why…February 17^th is his birthday and I was thinking about him as he is on vacation but wishing him a Happy Birthday so thought I would do it in a BLOG.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE TALLEY@Cable 15, you are a JOY to work with and yes, INDEED, you are an UNFORGETTABLE MAN!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY, may God bless you with many, many more!    

WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?

While standing outside Southfield Public Library waiting for their doors to open on this cold day in February; a gentleman asked, “Why are you all smiles this morning?” First place, I didn’t know I was smiling but after pausing to think about it I reflected on the fact that I had gotten up early to enjoy breakfast with my grandson, Joshua and we made our beds as well. I had no pain in my body (always with discomfort, but in this season of life, who doesn’t?), was able to walk to library – I was on the move!
My final response was, “that’s just who I am.” We had a hearty laugh and then walking out of library said to a lady entering, “you look pretty disgusted.” “Yes, I am, I really am.” “I sure hope your day improves.” Walked home and still thinking about the comment. Why am I so happy? My final conclusion to that question today is I know who I am, I know why I am here, and I like ME. I am anchored in my faith, outside of this I have nothing that is of any real worth. I choose to make God my ultimate concern. He is the Pilot of my ship, therefore the road before me will lead to ultimate fulfillment. I am guaranteed an inheritance of infinite value. He is my chief counselor and even in the darkest of nights/days He is ready to teach and guide me as I recognize His perpetual presence.
I am happy because happiness begets happiness, as I am NEVER alone. Upon finalizing this note I have an invitation to meet with friends at a local eatery. Then I will return home, park my car and walk back to library and spread more sunshine, and receive some for myself as well.  That’s why I am happy. Why are you happy/sad/discouraged/depressed/perplexed? Sometimes we have to think about what we are thinking about – Rethink our thoughts. THAT’S ALL…

GET OVER IT

The election is over and whether we like it or not Donald Trump is the President of these United States, the greatest Nation in the history of the planet. Many likes him, and many don’t but that does not change a thing. He is the President for the next four years - at least. We can choose again after that.
Meanwhile, I encourage you to do as I do by taking care of yourself, because out of the heart flows what comes from our mouths then on to twitter/Facebook, etc. Here is what I decided to do, as I would wake up every morning turn my computer on, and he is in MY FACE… (gag me with a spoon man, as he had personally insulted me with his remarks about women). One day I felt discouraged, disappointed, and angry about some of his remarks, and he being President and knew I had to do something about it. From that day I decided I would be kind to ME and guard my thoughts but my target would be President Trump. I chose him to be the person that I would use to show kindness to. I would do this as when I saw his photo on social media I would not speak negative about him and wouldn’t entertain any negative conversations about him. I was on a mission to be KIND.
While doing this project, I also fasted and prayed lots for him, his wife, family and those who surround him.  It has been almost three weeks now since I started this and today when I turned on my computer and saw his face my heart went out to him, I have compassion for him and praying for him.  I am really praying for his wife like no other First Lady we ever had.
My heart goes out to all those on Facebook that say negative things about him, yet, I do understand and can show them mercy and grace because if I had not started this project I may be saying those things or more about him, however, in choosing to be kind to ME and President Trump I am presenting myself to the world in a kinder and gentler manner. Therefore, I can say to all those with negative comments about our current President – STOP IT and GET OVER IT!!!    

WHO KNEW?!?

As a preacher’s kid, growing up in the south and most of my brothers were Pastors, I had the opportunity to observe behavior even as a small child that I didn’t think was appropriate for a Christian, follower of Jesus Christ. I observed them preaching one thing and doing another. I always watched the older women in my Methodist Church wearing their all white, pure as the driven snow (It was across the street, my dad traveled to his church weekly). I would rush home from Sunday School to peep out the window to see who was walking home with whom, as they talked I moved closer to see what they were talking about. Yes, indeed, their conversation was about someone else, who should have heard the message that day.
WHO KNEW, that instead of message being for someone else, it was for them, or did it just go over their heads? Sunday after Sunday they always returned to church in all their purity and from where I stood, NOTHING CHANGED. I thought about becoming a Christian, (I had not made any declaration, my claim to Christianity was the fact that my Dad was a preacher). WHO KNEW?!  I was interested in the idea of being a Christian, but I didn’t see any difference in their lives than anybody else.  Except, we didn’t smoke, dip or chew, nor run with those that do, and we did not go certain places where we would always hear someone got cut/killed/stabbed/robbed/raped, etc. At least we didn’t hang with those criminals, but otherwise, how were we as Christians different? (Were we influencing the world, or were the world influencing us)?  WHO KNEW?!
How am I different, now, as a senior citizen - a follower of Jesus Christ? Do I really follow Jesus, or I am in love with the idea of following Him? (I did accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at age 24, because I saw I was a sinner and I needed a Savior).  WHO KNEW my life would be different from that day forward. Not only did I accept him as My Savior – dying for my sin on the cross, but my Lord, declaring I would go where he lead me. WHO KNEW He would lead me into some places I NEVER wanted to go? WHO KNEW it was for my good that I might grow up into maturity? WHO KNEW this would be a life time journey.
I am a little battle fatigue of the church scene right now, I have seen enough, up close and personal (WHO KNEW that’s where the REAL stuff is seen)? I am exhausted with being preached to and some of the stuff you preach to me when I go home check out my bible, you gave it from YOUR perspective and did not keep it in context of the scriptures? WHO KNEW I would go home to study on my own because I was uncomfortable with what I heard from the pulpit? It may be okay for baby Christians, but I have been on this journey almost 50 years, not slipping/sliding but striving to walk the walk as I talk the talk.
I am at a place I don’t want to show up at one place too frequently because they will target me by courting me (treating me all kind, expecting nothing but perhaps a future yes that I might make a covenant with them eventually). WHO KNEW that such covenant you are the only one that’s keeping your part of the bargain?!
WHO KNEW after all these years I would be writing about this matter in my 70’s? I love Jesus but I have major issues with those who call church businesses and they are not accountable to NOBODY. WHO KNEW?!  I know this does not fit all, that would be short sighted, but it’s too much. If you are out there really following Jesus, doing God’s business God’s way, and for His glory, please contact me, as I am tired of being sick and tired of being tired.  WHO KNEW I would be writing this tonight after being at church yesterday, working at Christian school today, and conducting prayer line in the morning, active on call Biblical Christian Counselor and so many other titles.  Oh yes, those titles are just something to hid behind, in reality the same thing it takes for me, who assume NO title, it takes for you with all the titles. You don’t have to worry about falling out the bed, if you sleep on the floor. WHO KNEW?!?

WHOSE OX IS BEING GORED?

I do not have the words to express how happy I am that this divisive election is over. The rhetoric has been over the top – on both sides. I can’t believe what some of my Christian friends said about President Obama and the very things they complained about him, President Trump is doing the same thing. That’s why this article is NOT about the election but Whose Ox Is Being Gored.
I looked up this phrase and it goes back to biblical times Exodus 21:29-36. It’s as simple as that rather than a given event being seen differently depending on the degree to which a person has self-interest.  I realize perspective makes all the differences, but as human beings can we be respectful to one another, even if our opinions differs?  Of course it takes maturity to do this, but those of us who call ourselves Christians are called to a higher standard than the world. We are to be the example, we are to influence the world and not allow the world to influence us.
Let’s be honest, we really are not as kind as we think we are. I was moved to do a word study on two words during the election, especially when I became so overwhelmed with sound bites, FB posts, and even emails from friends. I became angry and found myself expressing bitterness in these circumstances. I had to STOP, take inventory of MYSELF and worked on my word study and saw that KINDNESS is a learned behavior, not automatic and that kindness goes for myself first. (Charity begins at home – ME)! In just a few days of working on my word study of kindness, I saw how unkind I was – to ME!
I allowed myself to think too long on negative information I heard, and when I put a positive in place of the negative my energy and well-being returned. Even at one point I had to tell myself, I choose to walk in love, and what I want another person to do for me if roles were reverse, I will do to them. Periods of times, I found myself cheering on negativity, then I stopped and put in place Phil. 4:8, at that point my peace returned to me.
Now that I am learning to be kind to myself, I have chosen one person to work on, no matter what, I will be kind in my thoughts and attitudes to this person and in so doing I can now pray for him and his family.  I no longer want to hear any negative comments about him nor the one he replaced.  Years ago Rodney King was beaten very badly, and when he was finally able to talk, we knew he was going to say something so amazing, we didn’t want to miss and pulled our chairs close to the TV. This is what he said: “People, I just want to say, can we all get along?” That day, I laughed out loud, and said, “What, is that’s the best you can do or say after what happened to you?” Today, those words ring so clear and profound even after he is long gone - 2012.
Meanwhile, we are adopting an attitude, “Let the Chips Fall Where They May.” Ox is gored…INDEED!

LET THE OLDER TEACH THE YOUNGER

In the late 90’s I wrote how the older women should teach the younger and some of the subject matters they should teach. I sure wish this practice was enforced right now because this generation needs it. Myself included, I wish I had someone to go to that could and would speak into my life right now. Conversely we live in a mind your own business and nobody wants to stick their noses in other folks business age.  By all means stick your nose in my business as that is a way to help me get to heaven.
This week a good buddy of mine called me, we have been friends since my early 20’s; we met here in Michigan and both of us are from Tennessee.  That by itself is a connection.  I heard he had been seriously ill and called his estranged wife to ask her to tell him I was asking about him as I cared. He called and asked me did I know he was ill, his voice was so different I really didn’t know who he was when I answered the phone. He was so happy to talk to me and I was likewise. This is what he said to me, “Stine, I want to reaffirm our friendship, and I’ve got to treat people right no matter how they treat me because when I die I want to go to heaven.” Wow! That statement stayed on my mind all that day.
Being a Titus 2 Woman is what I am really talking about and I think of my oldest sister, Lucille Purham Moore. She was the oldest in our family and she wore it well. She just had a birthday this month (82), she works full time at a beauty college and she is the Mother of her church.  She had her family and returned to college and received her Master’s Degree in education and was a Department Head for Detroit School System. She is the ‘go-to person’ for my entire family. Not that we think she can fix everything but by sharing with her we can get a new perspective. She is a safe listener.
I remember when I was very young, how she taught me to take care of my body, teeth and speak effective English.  When I was in 3rd grade, during chapel she would do speeches, monologues and skits and decided when I grew up I would do the same. Yep, I sure did follow in her foot step. I said my first public speech at age 9. I also won scholarship to local college for best actress in a play. All my teachers said I was on my way to Hollywood. I didn’t pursue that.
My oldest sister taught me many other things, how to protect myself, and speak up for myself and to do it with emphasis. I used to watch her date. When young men came to see her they always brought her a box of candy. One day this young man came to visit her and had a big box of candy. I knew she didn’t like him but I sure wanted her to like him that day so when she sent him off he would leave the candy. Well, that didn’t work out, so he took the candy with him. I was so angry with her, at least she should have kept the candy.
She made me clothes and took up for me when I was in a battle. I remembered when I was sick in hospital, in a coma, she came and sat at my bed talking to me. The doctors told her it was no need to talk to me because I couldn’t hear her. My sister said, “I still need to say this to her.” She told me she wanted me to get well and come sit on her back porch to eat all kinds of fruit and vegetables. When I woke up, nurses asked what I was going to do when I leave the hospital and I simply told them what my sister said to me while in a coma. My daughter that was my advocate heard about this and tried to correct me and said, you are not going to do that, where did you get that from? When I told her, she called my sister and she confirmed those were the things she told me about while I was in a coma.
I appreciate my sister as she was a real example of the older teaching the younger.

GOD IS UNPREDICTABLE – HE SENDS HELP FROM MOST UNLIKELY PLACES…

As I reflect on happenings of the year gone by, I am reminded that God is unpredictable. In my personal life, on the world scene, in church and the highways and byways. Whatever He wants to happen and what He allows to happen and no matter how painful it feels for the moment, He can turn our mourning into dancing again. He works in amazing ways and He allows things I don’t like nor understand. Yet, I know He is in control and He already said He would NEVER leave me nor forsake me. I am learning He is a PROMISE KEEPER! There are times all I can do is hold to His promises.
For example, there are things the Lord showed me years ago would happen in my life, two of those things have come to past and I am yet waiting on the last one. Do I get discouraged? Of course I do, but I am reminded of the promise, hope deferred makes the heart sick but when the desire comes it is a tree of life and if we hope for what we see not, we do with patience wait for it. I WAIT and TRUST and is in a season that my times are in the Lord’s hands. He is faithful. We serve a God that does new things…He makes ways in the desert and streams in the wasteland Ish. 43:19.
I do not make New Year’s resolutions but I realize nothing will happen unless I take an action. If I don’t change neither will my situation/circumstances. It is good to learn and grow and see things thru different lens – yes, a new perspective and learn to be a more effective follower of Jesus Christ. There are three things I know for sure: The sun will rise in east and set in the west every day and the bible is the final authority on world events.
My oldest brother who used to treat me as his daughter when growing up, who is almost 10 years older than myself. He always took time to answer my childish questions and I believed what he told me. He is now a retired Pastor in his 80’s, and still busy as ever. He actually picked up the phone and called me this year. I was honored by that phone call. He shared with me many experiences he had during his four years in Seminary, Morehouse College. The Bishop of his church sent him to his first church in Athens, Ga, he was so excited he went out to look at the church and it was locked. He found a man nearby and asked how he could see the church, as it was getting dark. He was told the church was in such bad condition and in need of so many things they even had to turn the lights out. My brother returned the next morning to see church in day, as he walked in - it was torn up, look like nobody had been there for years. He was very displeased with the Bishop and was going to call the Bishop and let him know he could keep this, as it wasn’t for him. While pondering this, he quiet his spirit and a man drove up in a fancy car looking for the Pastor of the church, reluctantly my brother responded, I am he. The man invited my brother to his house for dinner, spoke into my brother’s life with words of encouragement and sent members to his church. He happened to be the pastor of the biggest church in Athens and he and my brothers were friends until he passed away. The church grew and this is one of the best experiences of his life. God showed up in so many amazing ways and the folks from that church followed him even years later after he was assigned to other churches.  God is UNPREDICTABLE and oh so FAITHFUL!

YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID…

I choose to blog because I care about people and I am serious about my walk with God. When you really get serious you will find you often walk alone. Not lonely, because Jesus said He would NEVER leave me nor forsake me and I have learned so many times He is a Promise Keeper.
I can’t go alone to get along, and if I take a stand on something I KNOW is true based on the Word of God and you choose to disconnect with me, then that’s on you as I love you still. If you see me walking in the wrong direction, please, in the name of LOVE, speak into my life that I may change course. I ALWAYS respond to truth, regardless to who speaks it, a child, a drunk person, etc. because charity rejoices in the truth. Even a broke clock is right two times a day.
I MUST be true to me, I can’t love you unless I love myself first.  The airlines got it right, put your own mask on before you assist someone else. I have been on this journey a long time, I’ve been wounded and hurt many times, and there have been times I didn’t want to try again but because of HOPE I got back up one more time. Where I am today, I have been here before – I learned before and I am processing what I am learning NOW. I am taking my life back…
Too many times I have relied on leaders to make decisions for my life because I was afraid I wouldn’t be approved and accepted by them. I have died a many deaths because of this attitude, and today I choose a new perspective and a new attitude. When I die daily, I don’t have to fear death again, because I am dead to self. I am working on me by reading/meditating and applying the Word of God to my life on a DAILY basis. No matter where I am everything about me shows up, my values, opinions, EVERYTHING about me show up. I want to be the best ME that I can be and I must be true to me.
I owned a business a few years ago, Creative Communications, and there were two other partners. We could never agree on how to run the business as they wanted to charge large amounts to attend the Workshops, but my idea was to give the people quality service and they will tell others and money would come. NOPE, we couldn’t agree. Therefore, I had to use my time, talent and resources wisely and politely bowed out. I regret to say the business failed and my partners ended up in other troubled waters.
I am so glad how God has been with me down thru the years and when my cup overflows, and it does overflow, I run to that rock that is higher than I am and ALWAYS find comfort for my troubled soul. I love people, and care deeply about them and hurts tremendously for them and always want to be an encouragement and I do what I do with PASSION. I want people to know we all can do better. No matter how well we think we are doing we can do BETTER.
It’s time out for blaming others, getting people told, giving people a piece of your mind as many of  us don’t have enough to share but we can speak truth  into other folks lives and maybe one day they will wake up and say, “Now why didn’t I see that before?” I really believe ALL OF US wants to do right, be right and help others. Let us rise to the occasion to speak the TRUTH in Love.  We Will Be Glad We Did!