As far back at the late 50’s I was sexually assaulted and I was very young. When I tried to tell someone I was told if I didn’t keep that and take it to the grave with me I would break up that man’s family and you don’t want to break up someone’s family do you? (Putting the blame on me and not the perpetrator)! I kept it until I couldn’t keep it any longer and I told. I also had a game plan, at age 11, told the wife if her husband came in a certain way, I could tell how he closed the door, I would go out the back door. If she saw her dishes unwashed, it was because of her husband’s action. He eventually stopped, not before he scolded me, and I said, yes sir, and in my heart, “keep your hands to yourself”.
Later when I was older and no longer afraid of the mighty powerful men, while working in Government, I asked this man to come to the supply room after one of his attempts, he did, I blocked the door to keep anyone else from coming in, and asked him point blank: What is it I am doing that makes you THINK I am interesting in what you have in mind? Whatever it is, please tell me so I can change, and I am obviously sending out the wrong message. I further told him, I was not interested, I would not tell anyone else of his behavior, but if he ever approached me again, on the spot I would scream – RAPE! (Which is another power play – rape has nothing to do with sex, but POWER). He never approached me again and we interacted professional after that.
He was on his death bed and sent for me, he didn’t know how to apologize, that was the best he could do. I accepted that, took someone else with me and prayed with him and asked had he made his peace with God. He said he had. GOOD!
I just heard today with all the sexual harassment/assaults the women must be playing a part. HUH?!? HOW?!? A woman should be able to walk down the street naked because a man should demonstrate self-control, and in charge of his OWN behavior. Saying SORRY does not make it better, only CHANGE does.
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