ADDRESS THE MESS

All of us have found ourselves in a mess one or two (maybe three) times in our lives. How we handled it shows lots about OUR character or lack of…). Whatever the case may be we have options and the option we choose will be how we tell the story in the future. (Depending who you are will depend on where and how you tell the story). The conclusion of the matter is the way we go down in history. We are creating a legacy. Conversely, that is why I want to make better choices of the future messes I find myself in.
My mind went back this morning to the time I was so bored/uncomfortable/miserable almost to the point of depression at my work place. Talking to my managers fell on deaf ears. I decided to take my matter to the TOP, yes, to the Commissioner (after we had established a rapport) and in less than 30 days I was transferred to another office. Since nobody knew how I arrived at this office, and everybody wanted to know how and why the Commissioner would be involved in my transfer, and I wasn’t telling. The office I was transferred to did not want me there as I was the only Black with the position I filled. He said he had enough diversity in his office (one Native American Indian, one Hispanic, two Blacks and one Chinese) and he was not happy having another Black in his office. One of his supervisors were Black, she took me out to lunch and told me the story that he was out to get me, to write me up even if I sneezed, etc. and she reminded me, “you are NOT welcomed here!” I thanked her and I knew this was the Lord and I and I would have to draw from my Miss Weaver experience (another story) and I knew the same God that brought me thru that would be here for me in this situation. I made up my mind the boss of the office was the BOSS – hands down! He was such a rude, disrespectful man, but he was the BOSS!
He did many things to me to push my buttons, as well as the other employees, (that’s okay, I’m good)! One day I went on break and the room was filled with all Caucasians, I guess he wanted to show off.  As I walked in room, he yelled at me, “Get back on that desk, you can’t have a break, get on back up front – NOW! (Remember, he is BOSS), therefore, I smiled and said, oh okay, went back up front to call my next claimant.  He came up front, apologizing to me and said, “Everyone in the break room said I was wrong, you have not had a break, so go on break.” “No, that’s okay, I don’t need a break, I LOVE my job.” Other things he tried but I didn’t participate in his childish tactics and one day he talked to me and told me he was going to move to California, and he had been so evil and mean to me and would I forgive him. Later I was made the employee of the month with flowers and special parking place; and a few years later promoted to a position I never wanted but the money was good and that position I loved most of all my government service.
Recently, I went to a young woman in leadership, shared with her lots of her skills sets and added one she thought she was doing well, but not measuring up to the position by her behavior/attitude or her leadership style. I love this young wonderful woman, and just wanted to share some observations with her, after I did, I asked her if she wanted to share anything with me, she said two things which I helped her recall what went on in those situations, and encouraged her to feel free to speak truth to me at that time as I was doing with her – In love. I talked to her as she was my daughter. I left feeling we had a good chat. Until half way home I received a text something to the fact she was erasing me from everything she had my name on, etc. My final comment was, “You have the last word – I will walk in love.” Months and days later many references from folks came back to me that she made, some were true and most untrue. Each time someone told me what she had said about the incident (She never used my name, but folks knew it was me. She even went to a funeral speaking of our talk). At that point I saw this was getting MESSY and you can’t clean up a mess by making a bigger mess. What’s a person supposed to do? It came to me today: Address the Mess and rise to virtue (behavior showing high moral standards) and do something no one else would do. Speak kindly of her, refer her to speak at events using her amazing skill set and sent her a generous gift at Christmas time.
I want to always choose to hold up to virtue and those digs on Face book, I don’t have to respond nor react but think good things about the person. I have much peace, after all peace is what we want and not make a MESS – Messier!