WHO KNEW?!?

As a preacher’s kid, growing up in the south and most of my brothers were Pastors, I had the opportunity to observe behavior even as a small child that I didn’t think was appropriate for a Christian, follower of Jesus Christ. I observed them preaching one thing and doing another. I always watched the older women in my Methodist Church wearing their all white, pure as the driven snow (It was across the street, my dad traveled to his church weekly). I would rush home from Sunday School to peep out the window to see who was walking home with whom, as they talked I moved closer to see what they were talking about. Yes, indeed, their conversation was about someone else, who should have heard the message that day.
WHO KNEW, that instead of message being for someone else, it was for them, or did it just go over their heads? Sunday after Sunday they always returned to church in all their purity and from where I stood, NOTHING CHANGED. I thought about becoming a Christian, (I had not made any declaration, my claim to Christianity was the fact that my Dad was a preacher). WHO KNEW?!  I was interested in the idea of being a Christian, but I didn’t see any difference in their lives than anybody else.  Except, we didn’t smoke, dip or chew, nor run with those that do, and we did not go certain places where we would always hear someone got cut/killed/stabbed/robbed/raped, etc. At least we didn’t hang with those criminals, but otherwise, how were we as Christians different? (Were we influencing the world, or were the world influencing us)?  WHO KNEW?!
How am I different, now, as a senior citizen - a follower of Jesus Christ? Do I really follow Jesus, or I am in love with the idea of following Him? (I did accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at age 24, because I saw I was a sinner and I needed a Savior).  WHO KNEW my life would be different from that day forward. Not only did I accept him as My Savior – dying for my sin on the cross, but my Lord, declaring I would go where he lead me. WHO KNEW He would lead me into some places I NEVER wanted to go? WHO KNEW it was for my good that I might grow up into maturity? WHO KNEW this would be a life time journey.
I am a little battle fatigue of the church scene right now, I have seen enough, up close and personal (WHO KNEW that’s where the REAL stuff is seen)? I am exhausted with being preached to and some of the stuff you preach to me when I go home check out my bible, you gave it from YOUR perspective and did not keep it in context of the scriptures? WHO KNEW I would go home to study on my own because I was uncomfortable with what I heard from the pulpit? It may be okay for baby Christians, but I have been on this journey almost 50 years, not slipping/sliding but striving to walk the walk as I talk the talk.
I am at a place I don’t want to show up at one place too frequently because they will target me by courting me (treating me all kind, expecting nothing but perhaps a future yes that I might make a covenant with them eventually). WHO KNEW that such covenant you are the only one that’s keeping your part of the bargain?!
WHO KNEW after all these years I would be writing about this matter in my 70’s? I love Jesus but I have major issues with those who call church businesses and they are not accountable to NOBODY. WHO KNEW?!  I know this does not fit all, that would be short sighted, but it’s too much. If you are out there really following Jesus, doing God’s business God’s way, and for His glory, please contact me, as I am tired of being sick and tired of being tired.  WHO KNEW I would be writing this tonight after being at church yesterday, working at Christian school today, and conducting prayer line in the morning, active on call Biblical Christian Counselor and so many other titles.  Oh yes, those titles are just something to hid behind, in reality the same thing it takes for me, who assume NO title, it takes for you with all the titles. You don’t have to worry about falling out the bed, if you sleep on the floor. WHO KNEW?!?